Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Does this make me a "blogger"?!

Well...I finally caved into trying this thing out. Who knows how little or how much I will do, but its worth a shot! Here we go!

Ahhh...where to begin. I live in Sachse, TX with my rockstar of a husband, Dusty, and our precious son, Duke--our 90lb puppy. That's right--I said 90lbs and puppy--believe every word of that! He is a giant ball of energy. We got married on September 29, 2007 and have been living, loving, enjoying, and learning about married life ever since! Dusty is the love of my life--couldn't navigate through this world without him!

We've been married almost a year...wow...can't believe its been that long already. And let me just tell ya, we've put those vows to the test already. On our one month wedding anniversary--to the minute--Dusty was badly injured in a motorcycle accident and as a result, careflighted to Parkland's trauma center. Thankfully, the only thing that was hurt was his leg. He messed it up pretty badly and underwent emergency surgery and a week in the wonderful Parkland Hospital. This led to 3 months of crutches and not being able to use that leg. The "for worse" part of our vows were put through the ringer right out of the gate! The first 4 months of our marriage was full of ups and downs, but we learned what marriage is all about.
In early May we learned we were pregnant with our first baby. The due date--my birthday! I'll never forget the morning we took the pregnancy test--we were stunned and speechless. It was something we had wanted for so long, but couldn't believe it was actually happening. I decided I wanted to wait to tell people until I saw the doctor a couple weeks later. That didn't last too long! I awoke the Saturday morning after we took the test and felt this nagging in my heart. I just had to tell my family. I was about to bust at the seams--so I sent out an email to everyone. My uncle, Calvin, was the first to respond with a suggestion for a name and full of excitement. I read it, laughed and went about my day. Hours later, my Dad called me with the news that my uncle had just been killed in a motorcycle accident. I couldn't believe it. Calvin was a great man, one of the coolest I had ever had the chance to sit and talk with. It is still hard for me to process...he can't be gone. I had an odd sense of peace in the upcoming days knowing he was excited for us and our baby and that I was lucky enough to hear from him in his last hours on this earth.

About 3 weeks later, we were blind sighted with the hard news that we had lost our baby. I was 8 weeks along. Its the most unexplainable thing. One day you're pregnant with a tiny little person inside and the next day, its all gone--empty. Its a sense of loss that I've never felt before and pray I never feel again. I wouldn't wish this pain on my worst enemy. I know there is a reason, a bigger plan, but the hardest part to swallow of all this is that we will never know what that reason was. My husband has been a phenomenal source of strength for me. He really is my rock. I know he is sad about losing the baby in his own right, but he won't let me see it. His only concern is if I'm okay. How did I get so lucky to marry a man like him? I truly am blessed. He is the love of my life...I couldn't do it with anyone else. Its been almost 3 weeks and I'm still coping. I get blue when I see babies..pregnant mommies...families. Its all hard. I take comfort in knowing that our little one is up there with my uncle watching over us. But now more than ever, I know without a single doubt in my body that I want to be a mom. It is an all consuming desire. I cannot wait!!

So this is us. We truly have learned how to love in the best of times and the worst of times. If these past 9 1/2 months are any indication to the excitement life holds for us, I can't wait. Buckle us in--we're ready for the roller coaster! Stay tuned!!


The May Family said...

I love that you have this!?!?!? Kelly and I are going to love following your stories. My heart is breaking for your recent loss... truly breaking! How amazing is it that you have such an amazing husband to lean on. I think that makes all the difference in a marriage. I am adding you to my favorites RIGHT now!!!

kinsey said...

hey! i just found your blog from your facebook page. i love reading blogs. dorky, i know, but still love it. i have one too :-) (just click on my name) i'm sorry again about your loss. reading this post made me tear up, but you are in my prayers everyday. really. i think about yall a lot. looking forward to seeing everyone on friday :-)